Re: How's your spiritual life these days?

Before I posted the final version of - How's your spiritual life these days? - I sent a copy to my family to get their feedback. My mom wrote:

Hi Sweetheart
Very good and to the point. I would change "gut" to "heart" in your last sentence. My sense is the "heart" is our guide to "spirit" and hence Truth with a big "T".
Was your awakening drug-induced? Just interested.
I am understanding at a greater depth that "Truth" is always present and that we do not need to seek It. The seeker of anything is ego and it is just that "seeking" that keeps us separate from everything. So, what would it feel like to presume that there is only "Truth" no matter what comes up or does not?
I see how everything is immediately changed when I presume love, peace, Truth or God just present here. This is what is unfolding for me and it is very interesting as I feel less fear and less concern for a lot of things and clearer in life.
I presume I can speak freely. Spiritual Masters of all kinds have and continue to serve humanity.
Do you sense that Ryuho Okawa is such a teacher? I am very grateful to many teachers for I would not be in this place of deeper understanding and I would not have taken on the various practices that enhance the human/spiritual process/journey, because how else would I have gotten to know all of this? I also understand that awakenings of any kind depend on the Grace of the Divine. It is true when it is said "seek and you shall find", because it is the heart-need that reaches out to God and God can only respond! I have noticed this all my life; that when I prayed to God, there always came and answer and sometimes I had to hear the same answer many times before I would listen. Now I listen more carefully and respond more promptly. Wisdom that comes with time and wear and tear!
Yes, there is a pressure and change must occur, not just for the sake of survival, but also for the sake of right alignment to Truth and of right life in relationship to all beings. Somehow these kinds of events are a gift that urges us to Truth, if we would only listen.
And this is a principle role for sensitive people; to align themselves to right life and Truth because I have seen that example is stronger than words. Words are very important; yet walking the talk is necessary to bring about any change.

I wrote back:

I believe in my heart that my awakening was divinely induced – that it came as a result of a lifetime of soul searching & heart aches - but ecstasy did play a role, as it opened my mind & made me more receptive to the truth. I know you've tried it - so I don’t need to go into details, but when I was under the influence of the drug my capacity for understanding was greatly enhanced. At that time in my life (2004-2005) I was really focused on truth - truths of all sorts - mostly pertaining to the events of 911 & other conspiracies, energy healing as well as esoteric/ancient wisdom. And it also happens that during that period in my life I suddenly felt the need to try ecstasy. So I did. I tried it with a close friend of mine – it was just the two of us & we spent the entire night dabbling in philosophical & psychological topics of conversation – as well as just drawing & recording our thoughts. I was overcome with feelings of compassion & love. There was also an inherent feeling of oneness with the creation & I knew, in the grand scheme of things that this was what I was aiming for - but without being under the influence of drugs. A month later we got together & once again we decided to take ecstasy – we engaged in most of the same activities we did the first night: writing in my notebook, breaking things down, making connections between things that I hadn't previously etc. Then out of the blue, I asked myself: “What do I know about love?” - I thought - "I know I should love myself.” Then I considered - “Suppose I manage to love myself wholly & truly - then the next step would be to love all others & the entire creation.” Then I thought to myself - “If I love myself, all others, & the whole creation; I could simply state that - I love." Since I was always in the habit of simplifying and/or reducing ideas, I reasoned - "The only way to simplify this further would be to take out the 'I' – and if I remove the 'I' - all I would be left with is love."

At that very moment – I left my body and was transported into another dimension – a place beyond the confines of space/time. It's difficult to describe this place but I suppose you could compare it to what it might be like standing at the bottom of a well. This place had no distinguishing qualities - other than the darkness, which wasn't a regular darkness because it was both light & dark simultaneously. The dark/light was uniform in every direction - except it seemed brighter on top, which was what gave me the sense of being at the bottom of a well in a tunnel. I was conscious of myself & I knew for a fact that I existed since I had my collective thoughts & my memories – but as far as I could tell - I had no physical body. I existed as pure consciousness. It was then – in an instant - that the nature of reality was revealed to me.
I remembered that we are all one. I understood the laws of duality; the illusory nature of the physical world; the eternal state of the spiritual world; I remembered life (us included) was eternal & that death was an illusion; I understood the laws of Karma; the laws of nature; I understood how the universe was created & how it renews itself in an eternal cycle of expansion/compression. I did an internal inventory of all my collected knowledge to suit. It all happened very quickly - and afterward a sudden sadness overcame me - I (foolishly) thought that all knowledge had been revealed to me – and as such I feared that I had nothing left to learn, which to me would make life not worth living. Of course I was wrong - because there are much higher states of awareness that await us. Only, I don't know what they are... yet. Then I came back into my body - the first thing I noticed had changed was my reasoning – everything I previously believed to be true was altered. Things in my environment seemed to glow & my senses were heightened. The use of language was difficult because it could not explain the place I had been or the remembrance that had been given to me. I (temporarily) lost my sense of ‘separate-self’ - and since I now knew that everything was a part of me & that I was a part of everything – words like 'me', 'you' or 'I' - seemed redundant since they failed to describe the unity I felt with the creation as a whole. Fortunately I snapped out of it - because although we are one - we still must operate on this physical realm & these words are very useful... hehe.
Weeks later, I read accounts of people who had had near death experiences; this is the closest thing I have found that bears a resemblance to what I went through. You could say, that in a way I died that night - for the remembrance of who I was dissolved the illusion of my separate-self forever.

Re: Ryuho Okawa
He is a legitimate teacher and I have no doubt that he tells the truth. He explains everything in a simple manner that anyone can understand.

Re: Truth
I don't agree with you - I don't agree that one must not seek - because if you want to achieve anything in life you must put in the required effort. Enlightenment doesn't just appear out of nowhere - you have to want it & pursue it fiercely. Yes, our true nature is Truth itself - but if you want to grasp the Truth during your lifetime you must work hard at it. Consider - that for you to recognize that your true nature is Truth itself - took years of reflection & self-analysis. You worked hard to reach this level of understanding.

Our nature & who we are is Truth itself - but when we are born into the physical world - this is forgotten. It is our duty as children of the divine to first remember Truth, then to live Truth & share Truth with others regardless of the cost.


Disclaimer: I do not condone or encourage the use of drugs or illegal substances. Since I am committed to telling the whole truth - I felt it necessary to disclose that I experimented with ecstasy. If you are interested in experimenting with drugs - please inform yourself about the possible side-effects & the damage it can cause to the body/mind. I also encourage you to ask others about their experience with drugs. I know of many people that have become addicted to &/or seriously wounded by drugs. Drugs can ruin lives - please make your choices responsibly. For more information please visit - druginfo.org.au